If you believe we put a man on the moon!

"So there he is at last. Man on the Moon! The poor magnificent bungler. He can't even get to the office without undergoing the agonies of the damned, but give him a little metal, a few chemicals, some wire and twenty or thirty billion dollars and VROOM!! there he is, up on a rock a quarter of a million miles up in the sky!"...Russell Baker, New York Times, 21 July 1969.

NASA's voyage to the moon is one of history's finest examples of our competitive spirit and ongoing battle to one-up other men. What scientific gains were accomplished? Why have we not returned? Will we return? Will we colonize Mars? Who gives a S&#T. We beat those darn Soviets!!! (We think???!!?)

So why do we do the insane things we do? Man has been pushing the envelope since the dawn of time and lot of F.U.S. has happened because of this.

So my question to our followers (if we had any) would be......What have you done that was uniquely man (meaning it wouldn't cross any sensible woman's mind to do it!)????

An example would be........A couple of summers ago, three buddies and I were out on the town in an unfamiliar city. We had been indulging in multitudes of spirits and were heading back to our hotel to call it a night. On the way back, we encountered a series of tiered concrete ponds/fountains with small canals connecting them. As we approached a canal, one of my good pals says, "Hey, I bet you can't jump across that." So there it was..... a challenge !!! I couldn't just ignore it and go on like nothing happened. I couldn't admit that it probably wasn't wise to do this at 3 AM stumbling home from a variety of fine drinking establishments, could I? Hell NO!! I was determined. So determined that after a couple of minutes of stretching, I took off my shoes (made sense at the time) and sprinted for the canal. As I leapt through the air, cameras flashing, I felt my heart hammering and doubt running through my mind. I landed safely on the other side, accepted the pats on the back, put my shoes back on, and contiued home soaking in my manhood. I had successfully ignored the throbbing in my left foot until one of my friends says, "Holy Crap, what's wrong with your foot?" I looked down to see a bloody trail following me from the canals, and then at my toes to find a couple of toenails were no longer attached. I limped back to the hotel with my mangled toes draggin behind and self-esteem barely intact. Upon arrving I did the most logical thing I could think of......went straight to the hotel pool to soak my foot in the chlorinated water (made sense at the time). Of course, time heals most wounds, but the picture of me leaping across that canal is a constant reminder of just how pathetically unathletic I have become.

Yes, this is just one simple and ridiculous example a uniquely man feat, but a prime example of man's ignorant confidence and obnoxious need to compete! Fortuantely, I have lots of these tales to tell, and I know that you do as well. So, amigos, it is time to one-up me with your stories of manly accomplishments and unheroic tales of stupidity!

"Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied." ---Mark Twain